Da Man is Smiling: Ben Takes A Watery Dirtnap Spinoff

Oh my lord. Please delete this if it breaks rules. I did not know this would happen, really. Hey yo, remember that shit Ben did a while back Motherfuckers said it wasn't gonna work That crazy shit, yeah the stupid shit Hey yo Benny! Hey man why don't you come off the ocarina for a minute And bust this crazy shit
[BEN]
...Woke up quick, at about noon...
Just thought that I had to be in the cartridge soon I gotta get drunk before the 4th day begins Before my mother starts bitchin about Jeff About to go and damn near went blind Young Hylians at the pad throwin up triforce signs Ran in the house and grabbed my clip With the Hero's Bow on the side of my hip Bailed outside and Z-pointed my weapon Just as I thought, the fools kept steppin Jumped on the horse played the song for my ride I got front back and side to side Then I let the alpine play Bumpin new shit by DWA (Deku's With Attitude] It was gangsta gangsta at the top of the list Then I played my own shit, it went somethin like this:
Cruisin down the street on my horse Jockin the bitches, slappin the hoes Went to the park to get the scoop Terminians out there cold shootin some hoops A cart pulls up, who can it be? A mask salesman rolled, kilo g He rolls down his window and he started to say it's all about makin Majora pay *chorus* Cuz the boyz n tha clock town are always hardYou come talkin that trash we'll pull your cardKnowin nothin in life but to play legitDon't quote me Link, cuz I ain't said shit [BEN] Down on bitches in the place to give me the pace He said my man Jadusable is on freebase The boy jadusable was a friend of mine Til I caught him in my horse tryin to steal my alpine Chased him up the street to call a truce The silly motherfucker pull out a slingshot Little did he know I had a loaded heros bow Jadusable dead, Clock Town times front page *chorus*
[BEN] Bored as hell and I want to killSo I went to a spot where the Moon Children chill The children out there, makin that dollar I pulled up on my EponaThey greet me with a potion and I start drinkin And from the Kotake's my breath start stinkin Love to get Zelda, to rock that body Before I left I hit the bacardi Went to her castle to get her out of the pad Dumb hoe says something stupid that made me mad She said somethin that I couldn't believe So I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy ass weave She started talkin shit, wouldn't you know? Reached back like a pimp and slapped the hoe Her father jumped out and he started to shout So I Z-targeted him and knocked his whole ass out *chorus*
[BEN] I'm rollin hard now I'm under control Then wrapped the master sword round the telephone poll I looked at my sword and I said, oh brother I throw it in the gutter and go buy another Walkin home and I see the g ride Now ket is drivin kilo on the side As they busted a u, they got pulled over It was Gannon dressed in a dark green nova Ket got beaten for resistin arrest He socked the pig in the head for rippin his guess Now g is cut for doin the crime For defense on the boy, he'll do some time [eazy-e] I went to get them out but there was no bail The fellaz start to riot in the Hyrule Castle jail Two days later in Hyrule court Kilo g on trial straight cold cut a fork Distruption of a court, said the judge On a six year sentence my man didn't budge Bailer came over to turn him in Kilo g looked up and gave a grin He yelled out fire!, then came suzi The bitch came in with a sub-machine uzi Guards shot the bitch but didn't hurt her Both up lands for attempted murder